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tough love thursdays


Tough Love Thursdays

(Yes, I know it’s Tuesday, this couldn’t wait!)

Apparently the groundhog predicted 6 more weeks of winter for you yankees, so this post is quite timely, actually.

Let’s talk moisturizer! Ladies, how many bottles of moisturizer do you own? I’m guessing between 4-9,  there’s probably the giant one you got on sale, the travel sized one you keep in your purse, some special cream for your hands and nails, and maybe some bullshit you regret wasting your money on like gradual tanning moisturizer, or firming moisturizer, or hair growth inhibiting moisturize or some such schlock. We all have our weakness.

But wait! Imagine! In place of all of that crap, you could have… (drumroll)


Oh my gah! It’s SESAME OIL!

This will replace all of your moisturizers and your skin will feel SO smooth and your wallet will thank you and your husband will never stop groping you even when you are JUST TRYING TO DO THE LAUNDRY ADAM!

Seriously though, smoooooooth.

I started using Sesame oil in place of store-bought stuff about two years ago when I started looking into Ayurveda. Ayurvedic practice recommends an oil massage every morning, so, obedient disciple that I am, I went and picked up a bottle of sesame oil from our local health food store.

Except I didn’t read the label properly and I bought toasted sesame oil, which, guys, don’t do this.

Toasted sesame oil is what they use in stir-frys and look, I love stir-frys, I make them all the time! Get some bok choy and rice noodles and kale and hey, we’ve got a party! But as much as I love the stir fry, I don’t like smelling like a stir-fry (add that to the Apple Cider Vinegar hair rinse and things were getting a little weird).

But, orce course the oil was organic and expeller pressed and unrefined and transported ounce by ounce through a pristine sesame field by virgin monks and thus, SO expensive that I couldn’t just waste it.

So I still used it. Every day I rubbed myself down with that toasted sesame oil and let me tell you, toasted sesame will ensure that your husband will sigh loudly every time you come within a foot of him and say “If I wanted to marry a STIR FRY, Madeleine, I I would gone to the Mongolie Grill.and then you might feel it appropriate to respond by saying “Look, you’re just upset because you have a Pitta imbalance, here why don’t you drink this cucumber water and do those breathing exercises we talked about?” and then he will sigh a little too loudly and leave the room muttering something about a crazy lady.

So yeah. Just buy the normal stuff. 

Self-massage is also, by the way, one of the treatments they recommend for those suffering from body dysmorphic disorder, and even if your body image is fine, I still think it’s a great idea to actually connect with your skin instead of viewing it impassively in a mirror, perhaps wishing you looked a little less like Adele and a little more like Gisele.

Just feel your skin, connect with your body. Maybe chant or light some incense. (Hahaha, omg, just kidding, no chanting or incense required. Unless you want to, I mean, there’s nothing wrong with incense or chanting. I’ve been known to chant a little myself now and then! Just last Friday in fact! But that’s neither here nor there. I digress…)

Here’s what I usually do. For the full body massage I usually do it after a shower, when your pores are open and more easily able to accept moisture. I recommend sitting on a towel, because you don’t want any stray oil drops to stain your carpet. I keep the oil in a plastic squeeze top container, that way I can immerse it in a cup of hot water to warm it up. You can also add essential oils like lavender or sweet orange if you want some scent.

Just work the oil into your skin, starting at the base of the neck and working down to the arms, chest, belly, legs and feet. You don’t need a ton of oil, you don’t want to be greasy-feeling, just work in as much as your skin will take.

Your skin absorbs up to 60% of what you put into it, so it just makes sense to use something that’s edible. Plus, my skin has never been more smooth.

If the idea of sitting naked on a towel, rubbing yourself with oil makes you uncomfortable (weird!) just use sesame oil as needed, like you would any other moisturizer, you’ll reap the same skin-smoothing, wallet-saving, husband-groping benefits

( Hey, did any if you try the no-shampoo? Did you love it? Hate it? Did your mom/roommate/boyfriend laugh at you and call you names? I’d love to hear your experiences.)