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Watch out, Channing. You have competition.


We are watching a terrible movie with too many dick jokes.

Me: (trying to break my streak of agreeing to watch movies with him only to sit there verbally eviscerating them and sighing deeply.) I like that the girl is unconventionally attractive and seems to have some brains.

Adam: Yeah, she’s super cute. Is Zac Efron conventionally attractive?

Me: I guess. He’s a little…eh.. for my tastes. And he has carb face.

Adam: Carb face…?

Me: Like, puffy. Fat. Bloated, a bit. Too many carbs or too much beer or something.

Adam: Do I have carb face?

Me: (looks at him with a critical gaze) No. And you’re much prettier than Zac Efron.

Adam: (smiling)

Me: (smiling)

Adam: Thanks. But that’s ridiculous. Zac Efron isĀ beautiful.