Browsing Tag

madeleine

All You Need Is Less, Humour

True Story

I have to write a biography for my publisher’s marketing package and submit it tomorrow. I am trying with all my might to resist sending in something that reads:

“Madeleine is almost thirty years old and often finds herself wondering how in the world that happened, exactly.

She has a degree in Sociology, a concentration in Criminology, Deviance and Social control, and a baby tooth. She once spent three terrifying minutes with a 200lb albino python wrapped around her neck, and in 2009 her local paper ran an article shaming her for eating (and thoroughly enjoying)  7-11 nachos.  

She has never gone skydiving or bungee jumping and never will.

Madeleine lives in British Columbia, Canada, with her daughter, her dog, and her husband whom she once called ‘Couch Satan’.

This is her first book. “

 

 

Uncategorized

Since I see people ask you ridiculous questions like how much do you weigh, I will ask you my ridiculous question. I came upon your website when I was googling the name Madeleine a million times, we are considering using it for a future daughter’s name. I hope you can relate being that you just named a daughter yourself lol. Anyway, do you like your name? Are you glad you are Madeleine and not Madeline, and does everyone always spell or pronounce in wrong? I think it is a great name! Thanx

(Man you guys are questiony lately! I kind of love it.)

Hello! I love my name. I will admit that when I was younger I wasn’t such a fan, it was long and I thought it was old lady-ish and I always went by Maddie. As soon as I was about 14 though I changed my tune and have loved it ever since. 

I like being Madeleine with an extra ‘e’, it makes me feel fancy and French. People pronounce it in a variety of ways, including a university prof who used to call me “Mad-a-leeny”, (correct pronunciation is “Mad-Len”, but I’m not picky if people want to call me “Mad-a-line” or whatever). 

I do have to spell it for people constantly, because they miss the extra ‘e’, but it’s not a big deal and I don’t mind, and I always have people remarking on it being a pretty name (but I mean, what else are they really going to say?). 

In conclusion, I really must insist that you name your daughter Madeleine, she will be pudgy as a baby and sulky as a teen and always love to read 🙂 

Uncategorized

Does anyone else get a thrill when they stumble on their name in a book, especially a good one?

Uncategorized

What’s In A Name, DickFace?

I’m a little upset with The Internets right now and here’s why:

1. AntiDuckface. An entire site devoted to denigrating what is arguably my favorite pose EVER.

DuckFace and I have a long and proud history dating as far back as 2005 (which, P.S., is like six years before this site was even INVENTED thankyouverymuch), and  probably even earlier except I don’t have photographic proof right now.

(At this point I wish to share that I have typo-d Duckface as “DickFace” like twelve times, hence the title of this post.)

Witness, 2005-era Duckface:

                                     

                                      

I did DuckFace while in Australia:

                                   

I did DuckFace when I had a nose piercing:

                                  

I do DuckFace when posing with my sister:                                                  

                                  

I’ve done Duckface while taking boredom shots of myself on long car rides:

                                      

And y’all just know I busted out some good ole DF for the Glamour Photos

                                     

Do you know how long it took to find all of those photos? About ten minutes.

Why? Oh, because there is at least one DuckFace shot in EVERY SINGLE photo album on our computer (It would have taken five minutes except I had to find pictures of myself doing either solo-DuckFace shots (considerably more rare) or DuckFace shots with people who probably wouldn’t mind being published on my blog in a post with the word “Dickface” in the title).

And you know what? In MY day we didn’t even call it “DuckFace” , we called it “KissyFace” which sounds far cuter. Look, all this preamble is not trying to say that I invented it or anything, but my god Internets, please don’t take DuckFace/KissyFace away from me. Don’t let this website kill DuckFace.

IT’S ALL I’VE GOT!

Thank You, Amen.                                      

(moving on…)

2. A few days ago I was musing that once this blog starts raking in the millions (I’ll wait while you stop cough-laughing) I might want to drop the .tumblr.com and just move to .com, you know, streamline things a bit like Beyonce or Madonna. So I tried to go ahead and reserve that domain name (just in case) but, EGADS! the name was taken!

“By whom?” you might well be inquiring. I wanted to find out too, so I let my fingers do the walking all the way over to www.SweetMadeleine.com , and what should I find waiting for me there?

Why, Sweet Madeleine, the Cocker Spaniel of course! (Or King Charles Cavalier?…some sort of spaniel anyway)

                  

Guys, my blog domain name belongs to a dog.

And, I mean look, she’s a very cute dog who is obviously very loved and adored (Do you see that awesome life jacket?!) but also, clearly not very well acquainted with her namesake.

Um, yeah, hi, Dog-Madeleine? I am a famous blogger. I have like 150 readers! Yeah-huh. I KNOW! One-five-oh baby.

Don’t you know who I am?

                            

Who am I kidding, no one can stay mad at a Madeleine. Carry on, you sassy little minx.

(Also, in case you’re counting (I am) I now know two gorgeous shopgirls, one kitten and one Cocker/King Charles Cavalier Spaniel named Madeleine. I’m bringing it back, baby!)

and finally, the last of my grievances with The Internets:

3.  When I started to search around for alternate domain names, THIS was also taken.

WHY IS MY LIFE SO HARD?

                                   

DickFace DuckFace on the outside, crying on the inside.

Uncategorized

Me, shopping in Victoria over the weekend

Sister: hey Madeleine look at this!
Gorgeous Shopgirl: What?
Me: What? (me and shopgirl look at each other)
Shopgirl: Oh, is your name Madeleine?
Me: Yeah
Shopgirl: That’s so cool, me too! How do you spell yours?
Me: With an extra ‘e’
Shopgirl: Omg me too!
Me: (eyeing a beautiful, expensive dress) I just ran into another Madeleine a few shops over, we should really make a club where we give each other awesome discounts!
Shopgirl: …