Yesterday night Adam made me accompany him to a potluck BBQ at one of his friends’ place. I had to be cajoled, then bribed, then forcibly dragged from the house. All the while Adam was insisting how fun the people were, how much I’d like them.
Shortly after we arrive this one guy starts telling all these stories about how he was driving someplace or doing some job and then “all of a sudden” had to take a shit. He literally told eighteen different versions of this story, all of which ended with him defecating while pulled over on a busy highway or on a sidewalk or into a bucket in the back of his truck or wiping with socks or accidentally putting his hand into it on and on and on and WHAT THE WHAAAAAT?!
It was like something from Dr. Seuss
I took a poop into a box.
I took a poop beside a fox.
I took a poop on a sidewalk.
I took a poop and then got caught
I took a poop here and there,
I’ll take a poop anywhere!
I thought it would never end. I was giving Adam crazy side eye and he was trying to laugh but I knew he was also bringing a truckload of WTF for this dude.
And the worst part?
I BROUGHT FUDGSICLES.