Ten days ago, I had botox injected into 31 spots in my temples, scalp, neck, and shoulders in the hopes that it would do something to help the chronic migraines I’ve been getting for the past few years. It’s kind of terrifying to be at the point where I’m voluntarily paralyzing some of my neck and shoulder muscles just to be able to live my life, but at this point I’m desperate. I’ve tried yoga and meditation and medication and massage and vitamins and basically everything else, and here we are.
Chronic Illness/Gitelman Syndrome
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Just over a year ago I snowshoed up a mountain.
In some ways, it was a triumph because I didn’t die and now I get to say things like “I snowshoed up a mountain”. In other ways, it was a really sobering experience. As soon as we started the ascent, it became painfully obvious that I had virtually no cardiovascular endurance. The lack of thigh muscles definitely made the trek upward more difficult than it needed to be, but the main issue was that I needed to stop every few minutes to catch my breath.
To put it bluntly, it was embarrassing.
So, it turns out they weren’t kidding. Divorce is incredibly stressful.
I think I have dealt with things fairly well. I have a really strong network of friends and family, it’s been really helpful having my sister so close to me to help with Olive, or give me a hug if I’m having a particularly rough day. I have seen counselors and talked through things and made really positive steps toward working through everything.
Despite all of that, a divorce is still a divorce. It is messy and unpleasant, and necessarily involves some level of conflict when two people who are hurt and wounded try to come together to sort out logistics. Often times there’s not a whole lot of trust left, so things just feel…confrontational. And I really don’t do well with confrontation.
And although I have felt like I am managing the stress well, my body has started telling a different story, and it has been telling it more and more loudly as times goes on.