Oh sweet Beyonce Giselle Knowles-Carter, life has been nuts lately.
It’s time for a bullet point post. Because everyone knows that chaos is best conveyed in bullet points, obvs.
- Olive was sick. I mean, at first, it was just Olive. She began to run a fever and throw up over a week ago. Neither of us slept much but she bore the brunt of the illness and I held the puke bowl and administered sneaky doses of Motrin hidden in apple juice and coconut water. She stayed home from preschool for Monday and I got no work done because she was a Stage 5 clinger, but it was also kind of nice to cuddle up and nap and watch movies together.
- Then she was better, and thank god for that because after four days of being cooped up inside I was going insane. That’s the thing about when your kids are sick, you become a hermit. You can’t go to playgrounds or playdates or have anyone else over because after seen this illness wreaking havoc on your small child’s body, why the hell would you risk inflicting it on someone else? And when you’re single-parenting a sick kid you don’t even get to trade off with someone, it’s just you, you and the germ-factory.
So, it was with great gratitude that on Wednesday it seemed she was back to her normal self and she headed off to preschool inexplicably clad in her uncle’s cowboy hat and her cowboy boots. Because, why not?
- Then she was sick again. She passed out during our bedtime stories on Thursday, just out cold and then slept for 14 hours. When she woke up she was still tired, weepy and cranky and we canceled gymnastics and reverted to our hermit life.
- Then she got an ear infection. She’s never had one before and was crying from the pain and all the walk-in clinics were closed and what the fuck! I didn’t know what to do; do we go to the ER? Is it ridiculous to go to the ER for an ear infection? I finally called a doctor friend of mine who told me to alternate ibuprofen and acetaminophen and saved us a long emergency room wait, for which I am forever grateful. More sneaky hiding of medication in various juices ensued. (Note to other parents: Apparently, ear infections usually resolve on their own and most docs won’t prescribe antibiotics for kids Olive’s age unless the infection – with accompanying fever etc. – has been present for over 48 hrs. Now you know!)
- Then I got sick, too. Fuck. It was just a matter of time, right? Sneezing and coughing and my whole body was aching and filled with mucus plus a bonus headache (though not a migraine, thankfully) and Olive and I just spent most of our weekend staring blankly at each other in between bowls of soup and bouts of sneezing.
- Then our landlord was showing our house yesterday, so we had to make ourselves scarce for three hours in the depths of our convalescence. We tried to go to the science centre but ended up in an underground parking garage instead, with me curled up in the front seat napping while Olive watched a movie siphoned off of a nearby coffee shop’s WiFi.
- Oh yes! We’re moving! It was time to move on from our sweet little 1-bedroom. We are moving on up to a gorgeous place with two bedrooms and a bathtub and a dishwasher and even though I am both heartbroken to be moving away from my sister (as is Olive) DID YOU HEAR ME, A DISHWASHER AND A BATHTUB AND MY OWN ROOM FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE I WAS 21 YEARS OLD! I’m a little excited.
- So, of course, this also means I’ve been packing. And of course we’re both sick right before we move and I have to try to pack while also trying to figure out how to regain balance and not die from sinus pressure. Jesus Christ.
- Anyway! It has been QUITE THE WEEK. Quite the vomit and mucus filled week of fuckery and I can only hope that it’s uphill from here.
- Please, Oprah. Please let it be uphill from here!
- A bathtub and a dishwasher y’all. Are we goddamn royalty or something? I can’t wait.