Resolutions Month 3: Cardio. FML.

Month 1 recap here
Month 2
 recap: February was relationship month, and I’m somewhat disheartened to admit that I feel like I dropped the ball a bit on this one. 

First the successes. I sent Valentine’s Day cards to friends and family from Olive and I thanking them for being such a joyful part of our lives. I made an effort to have more phone conversations with friends – I prefer to text or email, I’ve been known to hide when the phone rings – and I actually began to really love it by the end of the month. It was nice to be able to catch up with an old friend while also doing dishes or hanging laundry. Efficiency! Connection! Bliss!

I sent notes to all of my editors, the most important work relationships I have, thanking them for all they do to make me a better writer. They reign in my rambling and keep my columns and articles concise and on-point, they’re patient with me when I send emails which read “Am I even making a point here? My brain is a piece of shit today. Help.” and they don’t blink an eye when I pitch (and am subsequently turned down for) articles about eco-friendly sex toys, or when I write columns about vagina detox pearls. I love my editors and I’m really glad I took the time to let them know.

I wrote letters to about a dozen friends and family members, had a few special one-on-one days with Olive and wrote little texts/facebook messages to a few people I hadn’t talked to in ages, telling them what I admired/liked about them.

And now the failures: It felt like all of this effort was concentrated into a handful of days throughout the month. I didn’t get to everyone I wanted to and I feel like this resolution would have been more effective had I structured it as a goal to reach out to a different person each day. It just felt kind of scattered and I found it hard to evaluate if I was doing it or not, and while I’m glad I did it, I’ll organise it differently next year. 

(Also, bedtimes got fucked mid-month in February. I’ve had a ton of migraines since the weather’s warmed up and when I’m in pain like that sleep is hard to come by. I’m back on the wagon now, though!)


Now! March. Ugh.

Friends, March is cardio month. I don’t know how I got suckered into this bullshit. Actually, that’s a lie, I know exactly how this happened. I have a friend who works out for a few hours a day – every single day. He’s not a crossfit giant or one of those guys who turns #fitness into his life, but he also really loves how it makes him feel.  I’ve always admired how dedicated he is to this habit and I’ve told him this on several occasions.

In mid-January, we were talking about my monthly resolutions. “I have a resolution for you,” he said with a grin. I should have shut shit down right then. I’m a fool. I didn’t. And when he told me it was cardio, I think I groaned. I audibly groaned.

On one hand this is ridiculous, like, am I really sitting here complaining about doing something that increases mood, brain health, and energy levels? Something that takes a relatively tiny amount of time and has such huge benefits for your heart (no small thing when you consider that heart disease is the #1 killer of both men and women).

Buuut, on the other hand, ughhhh.

Seriously? I think it’s the speed of the thing. I am a slow person (not mentally. Shut up.) The only thing I do quickly is read. I wake up slowly, I come around to ideas slowly, I make decisions slowly. I’m a calm, considered, deliberate, thoughtful person. I like to take my time. Yoga is perfect for me in this respect, the slow flowing movements, the moving-at-your-own-pace nature of it, the soothing music. Yusssssss!

Cardio, on the other hand, seems so frenetic. All of the running and jumping and bouncing and rapid breathing and heartbeats pounding out of your chest at breakneck speed. I mean…I don’t know. It just seems like a little much.

Nonetheless, when the cardio month challenge was thrown down, I couldn’t not do it. My reputation was at stake! My position has always been that I can workout like a boss, I just don’t. Except now I will. For a month.


We’re beginning with a fairly simple plan, just 30 mins of cardio three times a week. I mean, that’s doable, right? I might even dig up some awesome old-school eighties workout videos. Maybe I’ll get buns of steel! Maybe I’ll morph into one of those terrible people who posts sweaty post-workout selfies every day! There’s just no telling where this could go!

So. March. Cardio. Leg warmers? BUNS.

I’m ready. Join me?

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  • Reply aneasyworld February 29, 2016 at 12:06 PM

    Good luck! Last June I decided to get back into some ‘lightweight’ ‘jogging’ by using the couch to 5k podcasts (brilliant btw, I’d totally recommend), and now, as you may have noticed on Instagram, RUNNING IS MY LYFE YO. So take up cardio with caution is what I guess i”m saying, them endorphines are addictive.

    • Reply sweetmadeleine March 1, 2016 at 9:41 PM

      I loved vicariously living through your sassy face in your running photos! Maybe I’ll start running when it’s nicer out…. :\

  • Reply Erica March 2, 2016 at 10:32 PM

    Good luck! And if weather is on your side…. Bike! Super efficient, get your errands done while exercising! Blessings, have fun!

    • Reply sweetmadeleine March 2, 2016 at 10:58 PM

      You guys are waaaay more excited about this than I am. Sigh.

    • Reply Shannon March 15, 2016 at 8:44 PM

      Yes, biking! You can take it as slow or as fast as you want. Also, there’s a lot less bouncing and just discomfort than running.

  • Reply Sam Pereira March 7, 2016 at 9:12 PM

    I’m only excited about the leg warmers. Leg warmers rock.

  • Reply Jessica Swan March 14, 2016 at 5:40 PM

    Amazing! I used to love running, but now at 37 and overweight, I’m not sure if my knees would do me in, or if my boobs would simply take me out with a One Two Jab to the face.

    • Reply sweetmadeleine March 14, 2016 at 5:49 PM

      Hahahaha! Ohhh god, what a visual. I’m small chested so I definitely do not have that problem

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