Humour

Who’s on first?

This is an actual conversation I had with Olive last week. The entire thing was conducted while I was in the bedroom and she was yelling at me from the living room. Enjoy.

(“Tooting” is basically the only baby talk word I have ever used. Please forgive me.)

Olive: Mummy did you hear that noise?
Me: No – what was it?
Olive: Did you toot?
Me: No – did you hear something that sounded like tooting?
Olive: What?
Me: Did you hear something that sounded like tooting?
Olive: No!
Me: Oh…OK then.
Olive: Did I toot?
Me: …I don’t know…did you?
Olive: No! I didn’t!
Me: OK…so why are you asking?
Olive: Why I am asking? What I am asking?
Me: Asking who tooted.
Olive: Who tooted? Who tooted?!
Me: I don’t know!
Olive: WHAT?
Me: I said I don’t know!
Olive: It wasn’t you?
Me: Nope. Did you hear something that sounded like tooting? Why are you asking about this?
Olive: I don’t know!
Me: *laughing* OK then!
Olive: You didn’t toot?
Me: NO! I didn’t toot! You didn’t toot! No one tooted!
Olive: So what did make that noise?
Me: What noise?
Olive: What?
Me: What noise?
Olive: WHAT noise?
Me: The noise that sounded like a toot!
Olive: You TOOTED?
Me: ARGHFMALJSBFNDNKSD

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