Humour, Olive

#ForeverAlone

I always love having conversations like this with Olive, discovering how she sees the world and how she begins to understand the different relationships between genders, friends, couples, etc. ( A previous one can be found here.)

This time the conversation took an interesting turn.

(SOB!)

Me: Olive, do you want to get married someday?
Olive: Yes!
Me: Who do you think you will marry?
Olive:
Me: Do you think you will marry a girl or a boy?
Olive: I will marry a girl because I am a girl!
Me: Oh! That makes sense! And will you love her?
Olive: Yes!
Me: And hug her and kiss her?
Olive: Yes! Like this! [gives me a giant hug and big kiss]
Me: And what about me? What will I be doing while you are doing all this hugging and kissing?
Olive: You will be alone.
[Mawney and I instantly peeing ourselves with laughter]
Me: I’ll be ALONE?
Olive: Yes!
Me: No one will love me?
Olive: [Looking around wildly] Well, I think Nana does love you! And Aunt Poopie loves you.
Me: Anyone else?
Olive: [steady stare, like she is delivering some harsh but necessary news] No, mummy. Just them.

You know what, Olive? I am YOUNG. And far be it from me to brag, but can take a pretty decent selfie. I have TONS of OPTIONS! PROBABLY!

I am going to remember this conversation and show up at your lady-wedding in twenty-five years with a wildly inappropriate young boyfriend!  How do you like them apples?!

[more muffled sobbing]

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6 Comments

  • Reply Sam Pereira July 23, 2015 at 4:51 PM

    Bahahahahahahahahaha!

  • Reply Beth Barnes July 23, 2015 at 8:14 PM

    This is just the best. I can’t even.

    • Reply sweetmadeleine July 23, 2015 at 9:17 PM

      I’m so glad you two can find such joy in my suffering.

  • Reply Sam Pereira July 24, 2015 at 3:08 AM

    Seriously, when I think about her serious little face, I STILL laugh! Classic. I’m sure karma will get me.

    • Reply sweetmadeleine July 24, 2015 at 1:56 PM

      She was just layin’ it down. Nice she can give it to me straight, you know?

  • Reply Ariel July 25, 2015 at 9:06 AM

    Priceless. My dad still reminds me of all the crazy things I said when I was a toddler, and of course still reminds my boyfriend too… Whether it be lady or gentleman that little Olive finds when she’s older, the perks of totally embarrassing her in front of her SO are the same (or so I’m told) 😉

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