This is a picture of my lovely, way-too-close-to-three-year-old daughter sleeping.
And yes. That is a stick.
On her face.
I can explain to you nothing more about this photo other than the fact that this very stick became her favourite toy about an hour before bedtime tonight. I mean, to hell with the 100-piece second-hand wooden train set I bought for her on Monday in hopes of being rewarded with an hour or two of silence during the day, that shit got old after ten minutes. But this STICK that she found under my couch while cleaning up the train set? THIS is where it’s at!
She became so enamoured of this stick that she asked to sleep with it. And I said yes, because who the hell cares, I mean Olive, if you want to sleep with a stick, you can just go ahead and sleep with a stick. I have mastered the art of picking my battles.
But then when I went back to tuck in her covers I saw her lying there with the stick laying diagonally across her face and just stood there silently mouthing, “What the actual fuck”.
How does one fall asleep with a stick just lying across ones face like that? Is that even possible? Did she place it there? Was she holding it and it fell? WHAT HAPPENED TO CREATE THIS SITUATION?
What’s worse is that if I’m honest, this isn’t the first time something like this has happened.
Two weeks ago it was Pinchy. Pinchy was her favourite back then in that hazy pre-stick era. She couldn’t go anywhere without Pinchy. In the car seat, in walks, while running errands, Pinchy was her constant companion, and by the sounds of the conversations I overheard, he was quite a character, too.
Who, or what was Pinchy?
Pinchy, dear Internets, was a pair of tweezers. Not even my good tweezers, I might add, but a weird basic silver pair of unknown origin that she found in my makeup basket one day.
Soooo, just in case you and your girlfriends or your husband or your gossipy sister-in-law have ever sat around discussing the weird hippie blogger lady and wondering aloud what life would be like with her as a mom, now you know.
A stick. My daughter’s favourite toy is a stick.