You know how sometimes you walk around all day thinking about something you need to do, but despite thinking about it literally thirteen hundred times it never actually gets done?
This thing is the first thought to pop into your head in the morning, and you say to yourself “I must do that thing today!” Then as you wash your hair you remind yourself to do it right after breakfast. In between playground visits and loads of laundry and writing and bill paying it keeps popping into your head but you finish the task you’re on and then something else commands your attention and then suddenly it’s midnight and you are like “Fuck. I definitely did not do that thing I was going to do”
My blog has been that thing. For like a week. HA! Terrible.
Let me throw some other excuses at you too, while we’re here. The first day I was in Mexico, the “m” key on my keyboard broke. First all it would type was ‘m’. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm on repeat. Then it was like it used up all its m’s and there were none left. Which is kind of a problem because as I soon discovered, basically all the good words have an ‘m’ in the(m!). And I sort of need all of the keys when I write, so this was a proble(m!)
Then I got to thinking, and what I thought was this: my name begins with M, as does Mexico, (and mojito) so I thought to myself that perhaps the Universe was giving me a little hint that Madeleine! You are in Mexico for fuck’s sake! Stop writing and go sit your lily-white buns on the beach and order us a mojito!
Y’all know I am an obedient sort, and definitely not one to sass the Universe. So I did. And it was glorious.
Then two days after I got home, it started working again! I mean really.
Anyway. Here I am! Mexico was sublime, and I spent approximately eighteen days before I left preparing Olive for my impending departure and she honestly could not have cared less. I seriously over prepared for this like I have never over prepared for anything before. I talked to her about it almost every day. We looked at maps, we talked about where I was going, when I would be back, and that I would call her every day. I made a calendar for her with the days I was gone circled so that she could see how much longer she had.
When I left, she was running around in our backyard with umbrellas and her Aunt Loulie (my sister, Lizzie). I hugged her and started crying and she was like, “Um yeah, that’s cool and everything mom but I actually have a pretty sweet umbrella game going here soo……”
It was the ideal goodbye. No tears, no heartbreak (for her, anyway). I on the other hand, sat looking wistfully at the little toddler playing beside me at the airport until her mom got skeeved out and led her away. I didn’t want to take your child, lady! Just maybe hold her chubby toddler hands and admire her knuckle-dimples. Is that so wrong??
Olive was fantastic all week, she had an amazing time with my mom and my sisters and my dad, and only had a few tough moments toward the end of the trip when she must have started wondering if I was ever coming back at all. I got glowing reports from Nana (although from grandparents, is there any other kind?) and when I walked through those airport doors and saw her waiting there for me – zeut alors. Pure joy. She kept leaning back to examine my face and make sure it was really me.
I think that is the absolute hallmark of a good life- when you are just as excited – if not more so – to come home from your vacation as you were to go in the first place.
Also, FYI, if you have want to see my “all you need is less” mantra crumble like a stale macaron, take me to a Mexican market. I wanted all the things! All you need is more! More is more! Blankets and bracelets and pottery and silver jewelry and ridiculous stuffed animals that Olive would love for five seconds and then abandon!
All that saved me from buying everything was the fact that I am fucking abysmal at bargaining. This is how I bargain:
Me: Hola! How much is this?
Adorable child/wizened old man/lady who looks like she takes no shit: 200 pesos.
Me: Hmm. Cute. It’s for mi hija de dos anos (it’s for my two year old daughter). How about 150 pesos?
Adorable child/wizened old man/lady who looks like she takes no shit: Noooo, 200.
Me: *pretending to think* OK. *hands over 200 pesos*
That’s pretty much exactly how it went almost every single time. Apparently if you say theprice twice, I just…pay it? Witchcraft! I swear they must sense it in me, I just don’t have the heart to haggle especially with children, or when the person is sitting right there creating by hand what I am trying to get a $2 discount on. Oh, it took you three hours to make these earrings? Well I’ll say it again – $5 is TOO MUCH!
Also, this happened. Yes. I am now a person who un-ironically does yoga on the beach and then instagrams pictures of it. But can we suspend the side-eye for a second (and I admit even I side-eyed myself for this a bit) and just LOOK at this?
These two pictures represent so much for me. My yoga studio didn’t have mirrors, so I’ve never actually seen myself in these poses, but they sum up what I was working toward for months, and here I am actually doing it. I am doing it! It’s a cheesy beach-yoga representation of how far I have come physically since December, and I am so proud when I look at these pictures. Cheesiness and all.
There is an embargo on posting pictures of the wedding until my friend Celene tells me otherwise, but she was absolutely stunning, as was the location – I truly can not believe that there are actually places like this in the world.
Congratulations, you crazy kids. I feel so lucky I was able to be there with you.