Me: I think I am going to start making cake stands from thrift-store plates, and then selling them.
Adam: That’s a terrible idea.
Me: YOU were a terrible idea! Why would you say that? That’s so mean! Why don’t you just support me and encourage me and get excited about my projects?
Adam: Because you hoard cake stands. You’ll never actually sell them.
Me: HOARD? I hoard cake stands?
Adam: Yes. You are a cake stand hoarder.
Adam: How many cake stands do you currently have, Madeleine?
Me: Four?! You’re insane.
Me: Oh wait, I’ll give you three. I just remembered the third one. That one wasn’t my fault.
Me: They’re sentimental! I made them for Olive’s birthday! I have to keep those!
Adam: And the third.
Me: Well the third I thought I could spray paint and then felt guilty spray painting because it was obviously some old lady’s fancy cake stand at some point and I felt bad ruining it, but it’s also insanely ugly so I can’t use it as is. I mean really though, am I supposed to throw it out? Wasteful.
Adam: What happened to the one you made last month?
Me: Say what now?
Adam: The one you made last month. You said the same thing last month, that you were going to start making cake stands to sell. And then you made one. What happened to it?
Me: Ha! What?
Adam: *raised eyebrows*
Me: First of all it’s tiny. Second of all, I discovered when I was making it that it has a small crack in the top of the plate. I can’t sell that! It’s irresponsible.
Adam: So where is it?
Me: *clearing throat uncomfortably* It’s on our dresser. Holding my jewelry.
Adam: Mm hmm.
YOU WIN THIS ROUND, ADAM. GOD DAMMIT.
Ok ask Adam how many washing machine hoses he has and how many of those he has sold since he hauled them to Edmonton because he had room in the truck?