Bedtime, before and after

Before kids: Seriously, bedtime at their house is a total shitshow. It’s like, this hour-long process with a horrendously convoluted mix of negotiations and stories and crying and stalling until finally everyone collapses crying in an exhausted heap. It’s ridiculous

After kids: I finally figured out a foolproof bedtime routine! All I have to do is give her a bath, brush her teeth, jammie up, read six stories (including the same one three times), snuggle for five minutes, let her fuss in her crib for three minutes, give her a banana, read two more stories, give her a drink of water, change her diaper, then bounce gently in the chair until our exhausted sobs cease enough for me to sneak her into her crib!

The best part? It only takes an hour!