Motherhood

Gender Equality Doesn’t Mean Creating a World Full of Men

“I’m not bossy. I’m the boss.” -Beyonce

Let’s talk about gender.

This is a post I’ve wanted to write for a while, but for some reason I really struggle to articulate my thoughts on this topic and I’ve never felt that I had the right words for it. Let’s see how I do now.

When I said “Let’s talk about gender”,  just now, what did you think of? Women, probably. Feminism? Empowering girls? The new “Ban Bossy” campaign?

I am a woman. I am also a feminist and honestly if you are reading this blog I can almost guarantee that you are, too. I don’t even ask about feminism anymore, I assume it. Who isn’t a feminist? Feminism is nothing more than the radical notion that women are people – equal people–  and should be afforded the same opportunities, rights, and responsibilites as men. There’s really nothing controversial there.

But when I said, “Let’s talk about gender”, I didn’t mean feminism. Or women, or the Ban Bossy movement, either. Don’t get me wrong – the movement is fantastic and long overdue. As the mother of a loudmouth little girl who has absolutely no problem telling people what she wants (and telling them loudly) I fully support it. I’d love for Olive to grow up being called bold, decisive, and a natural-born leader rather than that simpering, paternalistic word bossy.

I think we’re doing well, all things considered, at this aspect of gender relations. I feel as though we’ve reached the tipping point and have finally realized that girls can be physical, loud, and strong, and even more importantly, that this side of them needs to be seen, valued, and supported.

But we are missing half the equation. It’s not enough to encourage little girls to feel free to express qualities that have typically been the realm of little boys. Gender equality isn’t about creating a nation of men. It’s not enough to nourish the strong authoritative side of our girls without also acknowledging the opposite. Where’s the “Ban wimp” movement? The “Ban Pussy” movement? Let’s also ban the insults hurled at any boy or man who displays weakness, vulnerabilites, or a desire to nurture. 

It’s about options, and THIS is where I struggle to articulate myself sometimes. When I was pregnant we didn’t find out the sex of the baby, because it didn’t matter to us. More than that, the sex wasn’t the important part, the child was.

The sex of our child wasn’t going to determine how we decorated his or her room, how we felt about his or her arrival, and we hoped (despite the fact that my Sociology background taught me the contrary) that it wouldn’t affect how we raised him or her.

Throughout Olive’s life I have struggled with how to dress her. It’s not that I don’t like pink – I love pink! (Hot) Pink is one of my favourite colours. Coral, blush, fuchsia – these are my jam! – it’s the fact that pink is often the only option. It drives me nuts.

If you ever feel like watching me rant for twenty minutes straight while gesticulating wildly, accompany me on a walk through a children’s clothing store. I would say that almost 100% of the time, clothing choices for little girls involve at least one of the following: the colour pink, bows, flowers, glitter, sparkles or hearts. And again these things are great! Who the hell doesn’t love fucking sparkles? But why is this the ONLY choice? Why does every single item of her clothing – from her rainboots to her diapers – have to scream “I AM A GIRL!”?

The only reason I can think of is that it tells people how to treat her. Whether to complement her looks or her abilities. Whether to comfort her when she falls down, or sternly tell her to stop crying.

Do you see why this is frustrating? Eventually Olive will learn that she can say “No!” and I will lose all control over what she puts on her body. At this point she might decide that she is totally into princesses and tutus and sparkles. And I honestly don’t know how I feel about, because more than the actual content of her choices, I will wonder if they are actually hers. Does she genuinely like pink? Or has she absorbed the pink-princess mentality pushed on little girls, and gradually come to understand that there aren’t many other socially acceptable choices?

She’s really into trucks lately. This isn’t because she has a crazy feminist mom, by the way. It’s because when we go to the library each week I get her books with male main characters and female main characters. Books about puppies and books about airplanes. We just grab a little bit of everything, and if she happens to like something – birds, cats and dogs are her favourites – we get more about that subject next time. In Edmonton she fell in love with a ridiculously simple book about trucks, and she wanted us to read this silly five sentence book over and over and over and over. She was just totally enamoured of it. So we got another truck book after we returned that one, and the next time, too. And on our way to a local playgroup today we walked down the sidewalk of a main road and she lost her shit at every single pickup truck or semi that passed. It was the best day ever!

She also likes her babies, and Naked Ken, and stuffed animals and other typical “girl” toys, but this truck fascination makes me wonder how many other girls would also lose their minds when a truck driver waved at them, and how many little boys would instinctively pick up and cradle a baby doll, if they were ever offered the opportunity.

It’s not enough to create strong girls. It is essential, but it’s not enough.

 The point of gender equality can’t be to create a nation of men. We are losing something incredibly valualble when we do this. Girls can be incredibly strong, and boys can be incredibly caring. And as much as we nurture ambition in girls, we also need to be nurturing softness in little boys, wamth in grown men.

Here’s why. When we  think about talking to our children about sexual assault, what do we picture? A mother speaking to her daughter about how to keep safe? “Carry your keys between your fingers. Don’t walk alone at night. Always have a buddy.”

We need to be talking to our sons, too. “What does consent look like? Can a drunk person agree to sex? Have you watched porn? Do you think it’s realistic? What does it mean to you when your sex partner says no?”

We can not ignore the other half, but we usually do. Men are not the problem and they are not the enemy. They are losing as much as women are when we view each sex as a uniform series of stereotyped characteristics. We are all suffering by sticking ourselves in these rigid little gender boxes and policing each other viciously, and often publicly,  when we dare to step out.

Girls are incredibly lucky to have high-profile personalities like Beyoncé and Sheryl Sandberg to stand up and defend their right to lead, to speak, to make themselves heard. We need men to stand up and do the same for boys. We need men to stand up and show little boys how to be soft, how to take care of someone else – and that it’s good to take care of other people. We need to show boys that kindness, compassion, and emotional intelligence are traits that we value.

Here’s why I finally sat down and tried to wade through my feelings on this in a somewhat coherent (I hope) manner:

Today while we were at the play group – after the out-of-this-world, truck-filled walk – Olive was sitting down and I was trying to show her how to play a little game where you hammered golf tees into a fabric-covered styrofoam block.

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Motor skills, hands-on learning, blah blabbity blah. I was all over it and she was pretty uninterested in the whole thing, and I remarked as much to a nearby woman whose little boy wanted a turn. “Aww” she sympathised, “Yeah, better leave the hammering to the boys, hey?”

What do you say to that? I’ll tell you what I said: nothing. I said nothing and then pondered that statement during our whole walk home (Ooh! More trucks!), and then I put Olive down for a nap and then I sat down to spill these thoughts into a million word blog post.

I was surprised, and I honestly didn’t know how to react.  She genuinely didn’t mean anything by the remark, it wasn’t meant to dissuade my daughter from a lifetime of pursuing hands-on professions, or to reaffirm her status as a helpless woman. It was a line tossed out to make conversation with a stranger and I’m not sure it would have been appropriate to launch into a “SHE CAN DO ANYTHING A BOY CAN DO!” rant. I’m not telling this story to blame or shame, I am sure I have said similar things, tossed similar words out without thinking.

We all have. And THAT’s the problem. It’s so ingrained that we don’t notice, we don’t question.

Boys wear blue. Girls wear pink. Boys play with trucks. Girls play with dolls. Why? Because they like to! But WHY do they like to? Is it possibly because we have gently, perhaps unconsciously, steered them towards those socially acceptable choices since the day they were born? For some it was even before that- their rooms were decorated with princesses or baseballs while they were still busily growing fingernails.

I think confronting gender inequality isn’t really about confronting huge, in-your-face issues. It’s about addressing the subtleties. The things so small we don’t even notice. It’s a huge component of why I don’t let Olive watch TV or movies – especially Disney movies. Why do I want her watching a movie where the cast is 99% male? Ora movie where the main character, a girl, decides to literally give up her voice in order to win a man? Or where, in the first five seconds of a movie aimed at CHILDREN, one plane taunts another that he ‘flies like a girl”?

Fuck that.

It’s a huge world out there. I don’t want Olive to have access to only half of it. I truly don’t care whether she likes pink or blue. I’ll be happy whether she’s a doctor or a nurse – or eschews conventional career paths altogether. The only thing I will fight for, tooth and nail, is her ability to CHOOSE. To have open access to each of those choices. To not be policed – to her face or behind her back – if or when she doesn’t conform to gender norms.

She is eighteen months old and she understands me when I ask her to put a bottle in the recycling bin. She understands me when I say we’re going to call Papa after lunch. She points at herself as an answer when I ask, “Who’s my big girl?”.

Did she understand that woman today? If she didn’t, it’s just a matter of time before she does. It’s a matter of months before she begins to absorb those remarks. Will she stop shouting so loudly? Will she lose interest in trucks? Will she squash parts of herself because she intuits (perhaps correctly) that they aren’t valued in women?

I hope to have a son someday, and if or when I  do, I will fight this same battle for him. He will spend his whole life hearing people say how strong he is and I will try to show him that it’s ok to be soft, too. I will wander around clothing stores being bludgeoned with sports paraphernalia and diggers. I will try to cuddle him as much as I cuddled Olive. I will try not to tell him not to cry. We will go to the library and we will get books about trucks and hockey sticks, puppies and princesses. He will have Olive’s old baby dolls hanging around and if he shows an interest in them, instinctively picks them up and hugs them, we will take out books about babies. We will read about daddies who cuddle and rock, men who hug and talk.

We are losing so much by ignoring little boys.

Gender equality isn’t about creating a world of men, it’s about creating a world of whole people.

We can’t do that by ignoring our other halves.

26 Comments

  • Reply Serene Criticism March 10, 2014 at 3:27 PM

    That’s a fairly wide-ranging rant and I agree completely – you’re echoing a lot of what I recently covered in my gender & media class and posted briefly about in my blog (https://serenecriticism.wordpress.com/2014/02/25/feminism-in-the-classroom-girlhood-and-toys/). As a mother of two young girls who also makes a living as a scholar of girl culture (among other things), your post is very close to the script that plays in my head almost constantly. I think the notion of, as you put it, raising whole humans is gaining a lot of traction in a lot of circles, but it doesn’t sell in mainstream media and there are still a LOT of minds to change. I find strength in like-minded people!

  • Reply Cynthia Barnes March 10, 2014 at 4:25 PM

    write on Madelaine (said with emphasis on each word

  • Reply jamieramirez March 10, 2014 at 4:36 PM

    well, even though you’re way up in canada, it’s reassuring to be reading your candid thoughts on this topic. it’s easy to come across people who think this way in the academic sphere and with a carefully curated group of friends. but not necessarily always so much in the “real world”. it’s great to know that other people, in other places, are coming to the same conclusions i am, facing the same frustrations i am, worried about the same kinds of dreadful outcomes i am.

    i am planning it the same way as you: no finding out boy or girl nonsense, and in theory i don’t care. but i think you just articulated why i do kind of care. i dread trying to raise a boy. i want to raise that awesome gender-role-oblivious exception to all the rules kid. and i feel like i know how to create the right environment for a girl to grow up this way, and can set such an example. we are two fairly gender-fluid queer chicks feeling ready for that task. but a boy? that’s going to be so much harder. it will be so much harder to convince a son that the tender, caring, cuddly, communicative home environment he comes from is in fact worth clinging to in the face of all that pressure to clamp down all displays of tenderness and vulnerability. and then, my fear of that, how do i not let that get in the way, stop it from being a self-fulfilling prophecy? i want to believe i’ll rise to the challenge, begin that all-important task of raising the kind of man we need in this world, and who (just as important) feels right with himself in that place (naysayers be damned). that we’ll create the change we want to see in the world. but are the forces beyond my control too strong? inevitable? eek! yet i feel like there’s something wrong with ME because i’m afraid to raise a boy. thank you for helping me remember some of the finer points of the context of that fear. =)

    • Reply sweetmadeleine March 11, 2014 at 12:26 AM

      Ohhhh I hope you have a boy. A boy needs to be raised by someone like you! Also laughing at your “way up in Canada” comment. Helloooooo down there, eh?

  • Reply little miss black bean March 10, 2014 at 5:00 PM

    I agree wholeheartedly with everything you’ve said here. My husband and I bonded over seemingly opposite, but actually very similar battles growing up. He was too small and I was too big. He was too soft and I was too hard. We are square pegs in round holes when it comes to a lot of gender stereotypes. But we also fit perfectly into others; he likes sports and whiskey while I barely know what’s happening in the game and drink moscato. We are a mix of “feminine” and “masculine” traits and I think that’s true for a lot of people.

    You may have already seen this, but if not check out this kickstarter vid for a documentary on the pressures of traditional masculinity called The Mask You Live In: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/jensiebelnewsom/the-mask-you-live-in

    • Reply sweetmadeleine March 11, 2014 at 12:24 AM

      You guys sound like such a perfect yin yang pair 🙂 thank you so much for that link!

  • Reply Fee March 10, 2014 at 7:02 PM

    I really like what you said, and agree with you.

    I have been really surprised by this too – when I was getting some pictures to decorate my babies room (girl), I got some fairies and some rainbows, magical mushrooms etc etc, but I also got some rockets and little boy pictures and my partner was like “you can’t get her boy pictures” and i was really shocked. I don’t judge him for thinking like that but like your example of the woman at playgroup I think people are just so programmed to think like that these days.

    I also dress her in a variety of non-pink colours (and pink too.. I don’t discriminate!) and I love it when I find a cute blue, grey or red outfit for her!

    • Reply sweetmadeleine March 11, 2014 at 12:23 AM

      It’s SO ingrained! My bunting banner I got for olive’s room had pink in it and I got a few “what of its a boy?” comments. Well, if it’s a boy pink will still be just a colour in this house. No one questioned the blue parts for if it was a girl :/

  • Reply Shoshana March 10, 2014 at 7:06 PM

    Fantastic post! I have 2 girls and I worry every day about the women they will become. I want them to be strong and independant. I also worry about whether they will have body issues and I pray all the time that I will be a good role model for them

    • Reply sweetmadeleine March 11, 2014 at 12:21 AM

      I think being aware is half the battle! I’m sure your girls have an excellent mom to look up to 🙂

  • Reply Bernard Walter March 10, 2014 at 7:58 PM

    I think that this post follows nicely on the heels of International Women’s Day.

    Growing up, I was one of those sensitive boys. You know, the evidently-not-masculine type. My favourite colour was/is purple, I still fit snuggly into the suit I wore to prom (13 years ago, and I’m still 153 lbs), and I have cried in front of girlfriends. Here’s the thing: I’m often ashamed of my past and embarrassed by what I have done. My sensitivities have often translated into irrational and unsocial behaviours. I wouldn’t say that I was improperly nurtured, but I can’t find good reason for acting the way I did/do (I can hear Tim McGraw in my ear). So, maybe there is something to be said for a societal shift in accepting people who fit anywhere along the gender-norms spectrum; perhaps my understanding of myself and how others understand me would be different, even slightly liberating.

    I took Women’s Studies for a couple of years, hoping to gain some insight into what I thought was an emerging and important field, but I felt stifled. I often felt that the narrative structure of the program, and the topics of many conversations, just didn’t allow for my full participation. I couldn’t be a fully participating member because the issues that found many of the conversations are inaccessible to a male (raised in a traditional manner): I’ve never had a period, nor will I breast feed, and I’m paid at least 33% more than women for equal work, for example. It’s all well and good to say that it’s okay to cry even if you are a boy/man, but it doesn’t stop you from being embarrassed when you do, even in front of self-identified feminists. In the end, I’ve got it good because I’ve got a wee-wee, and it doesn’t matter how big it is.

    Now, I’m studying to be a teacher – a field dominated by women. And, you know, I’m at an advantage because I’m a guy. I just can’t catch a break.

    Anyway, thank you for adding to this conversation, because I think it is a very important one. It is often difficult to find a voice among women that speaks in favour of (hu)men’s empowerment.

    • Reply sweetmadeleine March 10, 2014 at 9:51 PM

      It’s a good thing you can still fit into your grad suit- it was classic.

      You were definitely one of the sensitive ones. And I’m surprised at Tim McGraw, I don’t know why. I guess because I always associate you with Michael Jackson, Oasis, or David Gray 😉

      • Reply Bernard Walter March 10, 2014 at 10:34 PM

        This is why I was thinking of Tim McGraw: http://youtu.be/9QDwep13uJA

        It’d be hard for me to deny my fancy for Michael Jackson, Oasis, and David Gray. I still keep John Mayer in my collection, too.

  • Reply Bernard Walter March 10, 2014 at 8:12 PM

    Reblogged this on Bemused Bernard and commented:
    This is a good read, and adds to a very important discussion. I definitely encourage you to take some time to consider what this post is addressing and suggesting.

  • Reply laurahugo March 10, 2014 at 8:53 PM

    So glad you wrote this! I completely agree that the gender piece needs to be focused on the boys, too. I stumbled upon this trailer the other day and am so excited to see it when it comes out! http://sftimes.co/?id=131&src=share_fb_new_131

  • Reply Angela D March 10, 2014 at 9:26 PM

    Amen, sister, as usual. I agree 100% and felt all shocked and ragey at “leave the hammering to the boys.” My little guy took a shine to one of the “babies” at my parents’ house and for a few weeks, he wouldn’t go anywhere without his baby, even to Canadian Tire with dad. He still carries that baby around, rocking and feeding and cuddling her. Speaking of cuddling, someone told me little boys loovveee their mamas and does he ever, at age 2 he asks for a “tuddle” countless times each day and apart from tweenage mums-are-lame moments I hope he never sees a reason to give it up.
    His current favourite hat is his “kangaroo hat”, white fleece with pink bunny ears, found in my closet. He wanted to wear it out for brunch and I HATE that I thought twice about letting him wear it, about what people might think, before deciding fuck that, you rock that kangaroo hat my lovey. This world of ours has a long way to go.

    • Reply sweetmadeleine March 11, 2014 at 12:19 AM

      That’s the crux of it right there- when you notice that hesitation in yourself despite your best intentions. I do it too.

    • Reply online pharmacies accutane November 25, 2014 at 5:33 AM

      Hey, that’s powerful. Thanks for the news.

  • Reply bonniemills March 11, 2014 at 3:49 AM

    Great! I’m sharing this, and I’m totally with you!

  • Reply Spinning For Difficulty March 11, 2014 at 5:26 AM

    “…Who isn’t a feminist? .”

    My literal, and honest (and probably slightly annoying) answer to this question would be “Anybody who disagrees with the most fundamental premise of feminism – patriarchy theory – the theory that men as a group have deliberately and successfully oppressed women throughout history and in doing so have created a society which benefits men”

    If you don’t subscribe to patriarchy theory then you’re not a feminist. The feminists who actually influence UN policy all subscribe to patriarchy theory. And they are able to have such influence on society because of the visible support of the millions ordinary, well meaning ‘casual’ feminists.

    Being a feminist who does not subscribe to patriarchy theory is like joining the KKK even though you are not a racist.

    Patriarchy theory automatically defines men as sociopaths, because to deliberately oppress the people closest to you (mothers, wives, daughters, sisters, girlfriends) is sociopathic behaviour. And so the question “Who isn’t a feminist?” can also be answered: “Anyone who does not believe men as a group are sociopaths”

    Allowing ‘casual feminists’ to define feminism however they want (‘equality’ or whatever) is just a clever way of getting millions of people to support the feminist movement and the pernicious social policies that stem from it.

    One of the many harmful effects of feminism has been a huge drop in fathers raising children. In single mum households girls tend to develop a self identity which revolves around being female (and an exaggerated idea of female at that). This is why being a girl now = pink, glittery, princess stuff.

    By contrast, girls who are raised with fathers tend to define themselves as people first, and female second – a much healthier identity. Studies show fathers are essential for the development of empathy and self restraint too. And of course girls who grow up in single mum households, with female daycare staff, female primary school teachers etc can often have little or no contact with adult males until their mid to late teens. This makes it even hard for them to view men as ‘people’ too. Instead they view men as a kind of aliens species, who are defined by their maleness as much as they define themselves by their femaleness.

    In this context minor ‘social issues’ tend to get defined as major ‘gender issues’, and the battle of the sexes begins 🙁

    “… Girls can be incredibly strong, and boys can be incredibly caring….”

    Isn’t caring a display of strength too?

    “..When we think about talking to our children about sexual assault, what do we picture?…”

    It would be nice to tell them the truth …… that victims of domestic abuse are split about 50/ 50 between men and women…. and the same is true of rape too. And males are far more likely to suffer violent attacks in public (and get a whole lot less sympathy and protection too).

    But instead we (society, parents, the media) give girls (and boys) the message that men = rapists and women = victims. This message is actually what creates the so called ‘rape culture’. In this ‘rape culture’ when teenagers get drunk at parties a girl’s responsibility over her decisions DECREASES, but a boy’s responsibility INCREASES so that he is now responsible for her decisions as well as his own. This hardly seems fair, or sensible.

    “…Girls are incredibly lucky to have high-profile personalities like Beyoncé and Sheryl Sandberg to stand up and defend their right to lead, to speak, to make themselves heard….”

    Beyonce’s every public utterance is controlled, scripted and cynically contrived by her handlers – who I’m guessing are mostly men, although it’s hardly important. She is the very mouthpiece of the so called ‘patriarchy’ – which can more accurately be called a ‘violent hierarchy’. Beyonce is basically princess Leia in that scene where she was chained to Jabba the Hut. Like that time she performed for Gadhafi’s son.

    Like all the rest (GaGa, Rihanna, Kesha, Cyrus) her job is to re-brand consumer slavery, militarism, fascism and dumbing down as ‘female empowerment’.

    It’s no different to Nazi propaganda, it’s just more slick, that’s all. Look at Rihanna in concert and tell me how it is any different to Nazi war propaganda (keep watching until Rihanna’s entrance).

    Hollywood and the music biz are basically a cult. And their job is to subvert and exploit femininity, not empower it.

    “…We need men to stand up and do the same for boys…”

    We need fathers – yes! And mothers too! 🙂 What we don’t need is Hollywood/ music biz celebrities as role models. I’m sorry if I sound aggressive but it’s like every parent in the world has gone completely blind – and they can’t see how vile pop culture is. Even Disney spreads propaganda. It’s called ‘princess / warrior programming

    “..It’s a huge component of why I don’t let Olive watch TV or movies – especially Disney movies….”

    Yay! 🙂 ….. although, don’t get me wrong, I’m not into censorship. I’m all for allowing children to get familiar with all aspects of our culture, warts and all, but I do feel it’s every parent’s responsibility and duty to first UNDERSTAND who is really making all of these movies, pop videos, and TV shows… and why…. and then to EDUCATE their children about what it is (in an age appropriate way of course). My stance is that once you UNDERSTAND what ‘corporate entertainment culture’ is you no longer need to censor it, because it loses all of its appeal anyway.

    Disney, Hollywood, MTV, Beyonce, GaGa et al is basically a bunch of men and women (mostly men) sitting in boardrooms doing lines of coke and deciding what messages to promote to kids to turn them into the most perfect dumbed down consumers. If you would not let these men into your house to spend hours alone every evening instructing your daughter how to view her body, her life, relationships, ambitions, family and her sexuality then you should think twice about letting them do *exactly the same thing* through the medium of pop videos and movies.

    “…Why do I want her watching a movie where the cast is 99% male?..”

    Or where every movie starts with the mother being murdered!

    “..Gender equality isn’t about creating a world of men, it’s about creating a world of whole people…”

    Couldn’t agree more. And when we become *balanced* on the inside we soon find we no longer need to bash each other over the head with ‘gender issues’ … we might even start to VALUE and CELEBRATE each others gender differences (and foibles!) and even start complimenting each other’s strengths and weaknesses with our own, instead of always trying to ‘win’ this horribly divisive battle of the sexes.

  • Reply Stephanie March 11, 2014 at 8:02 AM

    Yes yes yes a million times yes. You’ve articulated the myriad of reasons why I always felt that having a little girl would be a challenge in this ever-changing world. There are so many things I want to instill in her to make her sure that she knows that the world is her oyster and she can choose to do whatever she wants whenever she wants with whomever she wants. And so can boys. It bothers me that when someone insults a man, what do they usually call them? A girl, a pansy, a princess. Why is it so insulting to be a woman or feminine? This indicates that we value women/females less. Our language, our cultural perception, needs to take a pretty radical shift so that all genders are valued and one is not considered lesser than the other.

  • Reply climbingupthepolkadottree March 11, 2014 at 9:45 AM

    Well written and I agree… very much so. I hate the parental role in creating a gender expectation. THank you for writing and sharing and really wording it right. I had never heard of the bossy campaign but I like :). I am bold, kind, brave and me.

  • Reply Leonie March 11, 2014 at 12:31 PM

    I love how you wrote this and the passion that compelled you! As a mother to 3 girls and 1 boy, I fully agree that we have to look at both sides and give our children real choices. I want to know my children and not just see what everyone expects them to be!
    Thank you for trying to find words, you did a fantastic job!

  • Reply suzy March 11, 2014 at 1:55 PM

    Amen. This is perfect, I hope it goes viral.

  • Reply The Gender Debate – Pink Stinks!! Or does it? | Eat Cake Love Life March 11, 2014 at 4:38 PM

    […] is the crucial point and one made very well on SweetMadeline.ca and also , now I think about it, by Madonna in “What it feels like to be a […]

  • Reply staerling23 June 4, 2015 at 3:56 PM

    This is one of the best things I’ve ever read about gender & how we raise our kids. THANK YOU!!!!

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