I have to write a biography for my publisher’s marketing package and submit it tomorrow. I am trying with all my might to resist sending in something that reads:
“Madeleine is almost thirty years old and often finds herself wondering how in the world that happened, exactly.
She has a degree in Sociology, a concentration in Criminology, Deviance and Social control, and a baby tooth. She once spent three terrifying minutes with a 200lb albino python wrapped around her neck, and in 2009 her local paper ran an article shaming her for eating (and thoroughly enjoying) 7-11 nachos.
She has never gone skydiving or bungee jumping and never will.
Madeleine lives in British Columbia, Canada, with her daughter, her dog, and her husband whom she once called ‘Couch Satan’.
This is her first book. “