Coffee. How does it work?

Someone out there is just dying to explain this to me, I know it.

Why, when I go to some coffee shops and order a decaf coffee, why do they give me an Americano?

“Is an Americano ok?” they ask, and I think to myself, “I don’t know…is it? Is it decaf? Which is what I ordered? Because I can’t have real coffee? Because my baby won’t sleep? JUST GIVE ME A DECAF DRINK THAT I CAN DUMP CREAM INTO AND PRETEND ITS THE REAL THING I DON’T SPEAK YOUR WEIRD COFFEE LANGUAGE”

“Sure!” is what I say. With a meek smile.

So. Internets, why does this happen? Explain my life to me please.

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