When I was vastly, magnificently pregnant I had four wishes for our unborn child. First, that he or she be healthy. Of course. Second and third: Strong, and happy. And fourth?
Fourth I wished that my child would have hair.
I have no idea what I did right to warrant having every single one of these fervent prayers being answered, but our funny Olive Grace was born healthy, happy, strong, and yes, with a full head of hair.
It was dark and lovely, and I felt so grateful (for the other three especially, I mean. Not just the hair.)
Then, all of that lovely hair started falling out. Olive developed a hilarious cul de sac of baldness, and although I was aware of it at the time I don’t remember thinking it looked super weird. Looking back, HOLY BALLS Olive, you had some kind of strange hair situation goin’ on girl.
But guys, nothing that has ever happened with her hair thus far – not the first surprising appearance of it (Adam as they pulled her out of me, “It’s a girl! And she has tons of hair!”), and not the hair loss and not the bald patch at the back where her head rubs, no, nothing has been as strange as this.
BOOM! OMG, right?
Would sir desire another? But of course!
Obviously (and unfortunately, because seriously LOOK at it!) that isn’t her hair, it’s the wig off of a creepy doll whom Adam cruelly scalped and then used to exploit our daughter for our own amusement.
Um? TOTALLY WORTH IT.
You knew that was coming, right? Oh, Gus. Thank you for not eating our faces when we do this shit to you.
Are you getting an Elvis vibe? Something about the little curl over his ear.
Anyway, even when we aren’t putting wigs on her Olive’s hair is kind of crazy. There’s an odd mix of long wispy strands of old hair, and thick fuzzy new hair, and it is thickest right in the middle of her forehead where it gathers into an attractive point, comme ca:
All of Olive’s headbands are all packed away somewhere, and I wanted a way to keep her hair from forming that demonic point and making her look a Munster, so we’ve been using barrettes from a cute Canadian company called Baby Wisp. Their barrettes clip to basically nothingness- if your baby has one strand of hair you’re set. As Olive has lots of strands of hair, but not enough for a big hair clip, these fit the bill perfectly. Also, my brother hasn’t sent me even one ragey email about them! (He hated when I put headbands on Olive. Pffft, what does he know about baby hair accessories?!)
Anyway, these days her hair situation is kept somewhat under control by a rotating set of barrettes, looking like this:
But I’m pretty sure I can see a widows peak developing, and she still bears a sweet little mullet of baby hair, so the evolution is not quite complete yet – Oh Olive, you crazy kid. I am counting down the days until I can give you ridiculous pig tails…it’s definitely happening!
I’m not sure why I felt that the world needed a seventeen picture retrospective of my daughter’s hair situation on a Thursday night, it just sort of happened. Sorry to say you will never get those ten minutes back.
Okay give me a just a few more seconds, for THIS: