Dear Brenda, This Is Why My Book Will Never Get Done On Time

(SCENE: I am sitting in the living room with a coffee ( a REAL coffee!) and my laptop, writing.)
Adam: You’re not writing this morning?
Madeleine: Yeah, I am.
Adam: You’re not going to a coffee shop though?
Madeleine: *waving distractedly* Yes I am. I’m at a coffee shop right now in fact. Shh.
Adam: You’re…at a coffee shop right now?
Me: Yes.
Adam: …
Adam: OBNOXIOUS CONVERSATION! OBNOXIOUS CONVERSATION! Background noise! Obnoxious conversation!
Me: *staring at him in disbelief*
Adam: *manaical laughter*
Me: You have yogurt in your beard…stranger.