Olive’s first time swimming! She loved it.
Well we’ve been living in this town that is our new home for two weeks today, and I have begun the arduous process of making friends.
I say arduous not because I am a friend-hating hermit who hates friends and all their friendly friendness and just wants to keep hermitting like a curmudgeonly hermit (only half true), I say it because I find the beginning part of friendships incredible draining.
You are essentially in an interview or an audition or a date, and I get all of the nerves and self-doubt that go along with it.
What do I wear? What do I say? What if we run out of things to talk about? What if they don’t like me? What if I don’t like them? UGH.
Interestingly however, I have discovered that it’s almost harder to not make friends when you have a baby, than it is to make them. Especially in a small town, you see the same handful of people at all of the mom & baby groups, the yoga classes, the public health weigh days.
Yesterday Olive and I had our first Post Natal yoga class (which, um, totally different from Mom & Baby yoga, by the way. I haven’t heard the word perineum so much…well, ever actually. The teacher is awesome but kind of hardcore. Guys, I have homework. This class is not messing around) and after the class I asked one of the other moms for her phone number so that our babies could play sometime.
First of all, I met Adam when I was 18. I’ve never dated in the true sense of the word, and this was as close as I’ve ever gotten to asking someone out on a date. It was horrible, I don’t know how people live like this.
Secondly, I superwoman for actually doing it and not just kicking myself a million times afterwards for not doing it.
Third, I love the bizarre deceit we all conspire in that these classes and groups and playdates are for the babies. Lies I tell you. I’m pretty sure Olive has no idea that the other babies even exist, and if she does she’s probably just as happy playing with her own feet. But nonetheless it makes for a great reason to get together.
Anyway I ran into that same woman today at another playgroup that I was invited to by a girl I had coffee with on Tuesday. (Look at me making friends and being social and leaving the house like a normal person!) and it was a really warm and friendly group of ladies. I think I’m in good hands.
Also at this playgroup I discovered that Olive is quite the chubbers, which makes me very very happy because chubby babies are hilarious. She outweighed both other girls her age and even a nine and a half month old. This probably has nothing to do with me nursing her every time she cries for any reason, right?
Also in the group was a woman with an eight week old baby, who she let me hold and oh. my.god.
SO TINY! With the wobbly neck and the sleeping on the chest and the legs that automatically curl when you pick him up. Was Olive seriously ever this small? I couldn’t believe it. (Also: I want another baby.)
We’re still searching for a house, Adam is still searching for the right job, the sense of limbo continues. But damned if this type of limbo isn’t just lovely at times.