Adam just found a 1/4 brownie that I was hiding on top of the fridge.
Why was there only 1/4? I don’t want to talk about it.
(So maybe I bought it as a secret special treat and was savouring it by doling it out in quarters, OKAY? January is almost over. I WILL NOT BE JUDGED.)
Anyway he made me split it with him.
And then, THEN just as I was starting to feel ashamed, I reach for his glass of milk – which I thought was the almond milk we had in our fridge – and he says: “Don’t drink that, it’s cream.”
DON’T DRINK THAT.
Dude was just sitting there drinking a glass ofcream.
I just….I don’t…how are we allowed to be parents?