My marriage summed up in 18 lines

Adam: Sooo… I did the laundry.
Me: Yeah, I noticed!
Adam: Oh, okay I just wasn’t sure if you did or not.
Me: Sure did.
Adam: …Because you always say that I never do laundry so I just wanted to make sure you noticed that I did.
Me: Right. Is that why you left it all folded on the bed instead if putting it away? So that I’d see it?
Adam: Yeah….pretty good folding though, hey?
Me: Yeah!
Me: Are you like, wanting me to thank you or something?
Adam: Well…the laundry…
Me: You know that I do this every day, right? Like 2 loads a day. Every. Day.
Adam: Right, but this time I did it.
Me: ….
Adam: Without being asked!
Me: (prolonged sigh) Okay. Thank you, Adam, for doing the laundry.
Adam: (fist pump) Yesssss!

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