Uncle

My brother and his wife visited today and they came bearing gifts! Adam and I each got a little treat bag – mine filled with brie and goat feta, crisp dill pickles and of course a container of olives, Adam was the grateful recipient of six bottles of beer – needless to say we were both pretty blissed out for the afternoon.

ALSO, Liam’s wife Kate is an insanely crafty and eco-friendly individual, and she knit Olive a gorgeous teal and purple baby blanket, as well as making her three baby bibs out of recycled materials (I KNOW, who is this woman? Seriously, she’s making us all look bad. Also: She has tiny feet so I couldn’t even steal the awesome new boots she was wearing. Outrage!)

As if I wasn’t spoiled enough, all of my siblings pitched in to gift me with this, the Cadillac of diaper bags.

Remember this? The one I was oohing and aahing a few months ago over while Adam surreptitiously hid my visa?

Well now it’s mine, aaaallll mine! I might sleep with it tonight.

Seriously this thing is ridiculous and ridiculously awesome and I can’t wait to mom around town with it – and as Adam said excitedly, “It even comes with a beer cozy!” (bottle sleeve)

After a pretty chill morning of baby holding, Liam, Kate and Adam took Gus out for a big walk while I napped (See mom! I napped you can calm down now!). When they got back I woke up, fed Olive, fed Olive again, (she has a huge appetite these days) and we headed out for lunch.

I was surprised how anxious I felt bringing her to lunch with us, I kept stressing that she would fuss or cry, that she would become somehow inconsolable and we wouldn’t be able to soothe her. I was worried that we would be “those” people who brought a baby to a restaurant, the people everyone gave the stink eye to as their baby screamed bloody murder.

I don’t think Adam was surprised by my anxiousness, he’s kind of used to it at this point, and he countered it with logic as he usually does. “If she cries, we’ll take her outside and walk her around” he said, “And if she still doesn’t settle you can feed her, or we can leave. It’s really not a big deal.”

It shouldn’t be, and it wasn’t. She was perfect and slept in her car seat the entire time – logically I agree with him, but I have to admit I’m still a bit nervous for when I have to take her places by myself, when I don’t have Adam to partner up with.

In this respect the slow healing of a c-section might work to my advantage – I can’t drive for a few weeks, or lift her car seat (or anything heavier than her) so I won’t have many solo outings.

I guess it’s something you just get used to, this venturing out into the world. Eventually it stands to reason that your child will be the one screaming bloody murder and thus you will have to deal with it sooner or later, but for now I’m going to give in to my anxiousness and go with “later”.

Adam’s going into work for the day tomorrow after having this week off, so it’s Olive and I for the day (the thought of this gives me exactly zero anxiety, incidentally). I’m excited to see how things go solo and am planning on taking it easy with movies, naps, and maybe some laundry if I feel extra ambitious.

Blogging has been difficult lately, I sit here and I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to write. I don’t want to turn this into a “what I did today” sort of blog – that sort of format is completely uninteresting to me. But I also feel so muzzy headed, so wrapped up in Olive and this little family cocoon, I’m finding it hard to stretch my interests elsewhere, I’m finding it hard to be funny or witty or on. I just want to post picture after picture of her fingers, her facial expressions.

Hopefully as time goes on I’ll get my brain back, my scope will widen a bit. Until then…bear with me, okay? Alternately, if there’s anything you’d like me to write about, feel free to make demands -I’m great at following instructions.