We had a pretty relaxed day today, I think Olive is still in that sleepy newborn zone where every time I feed her she drifts off for 2-3 hours, so this week has been very quiet and mellow, a nice slow introduction into parenthood.
I’m sure that she’ll probably fuss more and sleep less as she gets older, but right now we are just loving this baby that sleeps a ton and doesn’t cry… can you just let us pretend it’ll always be like this?
After lunch we got her all bundled up in the ergo carrier to take Gus for a walk (I think he’s feeling a bit left out lately).
It was one of those gorgeous sunny fall days that I am trying to soak up before we descend into the five months of grey skies and rain that BC is famous (infamous?) for.
I think the walk may have been a bit ambitious for five days post-surgery though, about ten minutes in my incision started aching and we had to cut the walk short and I took hobbling little geisha steps all the way home. I think that because I’ve been feeling so good it’s been easy to forget that I’ve had major abdominal surgery and might just need to LIE DOWN, for fucks sakes Madeleine!
Adam has been awesome at doing the laundry, diaper changes, lots of meals etc. but I still seem to be on my feet most of the day, just puttering around. Today was a reminder that I need to maybe nap more, and sit more, rather than doing all the things.
(Also I should probably eat that other cheesecake…you know…to keep my strength up.)
Olive and I are having a girls night because Adam headed out to hockey about an hour ago. It was pretty funny seeing him first ask if he could go, then take about fifteen minutes to actually get out the door after saying a million goodbyes to his girl.
The more I look at these two together, the more I’m convinced that Olive is the spitting image of Adam (minus some facial hair, thank god).
Tomorrow I have planned an ambitious morning of leaving the house by myself to go get some more nursing bras. It will be the first time I have been away from Olive since she was born and I won’t be surprised if I become that crazy neurotic mom unable to leave the driveway because I already miss her too much. My mom warned me that I’d start feeling weepy and emotional a few days after giving birth, and I foolishly waved it off like “Yeah yeah woman, what do you know?” but um, she’s a nurse. And has had six kids – clearly the woman knows what she’s talking about. Sure enough, yesterday and today have twice found me bawling uncontrollably.
Once because Adam was watching this horrible movie called October Baby which was all about this baby given up for adoption after the mother tried unsuccessfully to abort her and she had a twin brother that died shortly after being born and then she found her birth mother and she pretended not to know who she was and OH MY GOD Adam, why? Why are you making me watch this? I couldn’t stop crying, couldn’t stop looking at Olive and her big chubby cheeks and monkey feet and imagining having to give her up, and say goodbye. ALL OF THE TEARS.
Then today Adam read me this heart wrenching letter from BuzzFeed written by an 8 year old boy who had his cat mistakenly put down. “He was my best friend”, he writes, “…They killed him and I don’t know why.”
Cue my heart shattering into a million pieces, and a new rule being put in place that Adam is not to ever read, watch or tell me about anything even remotely sad about any child. Ever.
Tomorrow my brother Liam and his wife come to visit for the day. I can’t wait to see them hold her, and honestly, I’m not above using her plushy lips to convince them to give us a cousin.