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Another List. I’m Sorry.

Alright, so immediately after writing that last post I kept hearing my grandmother’s voice in my head saying in a haughty tone, “Only boring people are bored.”

And she’s dead now…so that makes it even more poignant. You always have to listen to your grandmother, but especially if she’s not around anymore and you’re hearing her voice in your head. That shit is legit.

I don’t want to be boring! And I don’t want to be bored. So I did a lot of stuff, (and look, I know that The Internets as a whole is probably sick of me masquerading completed to-do lists off as blog posts, but seriously guys, I got nothing) here is that stuff I did. Today. In an effort to not be boring:

  • Re-did Adam’s invoice sheet in Excel to replace the Word document he’s been using to bill his boss, and I added formulas and auto-complete cells and proper formatting because if I have to sit there typing the same thing into three different blank spaces and adding my own dollar signs and decimal points and manually adding the totals one more time I will snap Jesus Christ almighty.
  • Walked down to pick up my car from getting its oil changed. Got honked at by a guy as he drove up behind me and then saw his face change from “Awww yeeeeah” to “Oh shit!” as he noticed my stomach protruding a foot and a half in front of me. Yeah buddy, sorry, someone else got here first. I was too focused on not peeing my pants to react in time but internally I felt as conflicted as he did, half of me was all “Still got it!” and the other half was like “Seriously, how do I have to pee again? I went to the bathroom twice before I left the house and I’ve only been walking for twenty minutes!”
  • Went for lunch alone.
  • Ate alone.
  • Read an entire paper front to back. Lots of shit happening in the world guys…you know..politically and stuff.
  • Reorganized the cords and wires behind our computer. Now instead of resembling a rat’s nest (maybe that’s why they were attracted to our house!) they resemble a bunch of cords and wires bundled haphazardly and taped with masking tape. Adam is going to lose his mind (not in a good way) when he realized I have been touching his precious cords and wires. I bet his spidey sense is tingling just because I’ve typed those words so many times.
  • Vacuumed. Again.
  • Scrubbed out the shower, because I bathed the beast since the last scrubbing.
  • Ordered pizza.
  • Ate pizza.
  • Cleaned out our cupboards. On one shelf we had a giant tub of Folgers coffee (no one in this house drinks Folgers, and we don’t own a drip coffee maker) and four identical bags of blue corn chips with only one sad cup of chip crumbles left at the bottom.Seriously?
  • Thought about cleaning the fridge. 
  • Decided to delegate fridge cleaning to Adam.
  • Tweeted about how every time I use our fancy schmancy new camera, Adam lectures me about losing the lens cap. I always reply with irritation that I’m not a child,dammit, I’m not going to lose the lens cap. Today after realizing that the lens cap has been missing for five days, I had to finally admit, predictably, that I have in fact lost the lens cap. 
  • BUT THEN I FOUND THE LENS CAP DURING MY SECOND BOUT OF VACUUMING! BOOOYAH! WHO’S THE CHILD NOW?
  • Chatted with my mom
  • Chatted with my friend Audrey
  • Chatted with everyone in my contact list who would answer the phone
  • Applied to put ads on my blog (I am ready to rake IN that $4 a month!) and got denied. WTF? I’ve been struggling with the OMG ETHICS of blog advertising for the whole year I’ve been writing this thing and they deny me? Shit.
  • Read through an amazing number of supportive emails, replies, asks and smoke signals from you guys.
  • Marveled at the fact that strangers on the internet care enough to take the time out to send such kind words of advice, and support, and encouragement. Thank you.

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