All The Things

     

Things I have wanted to eat lately:

• one of those awesome burgers
• black licorice
• sour keys
• a whole bowl of cherries
• a whole bowl of ice cold grapes
• dill pickle chips
• sour keys
• hot dogs
• beef jerky
• macaroni and cheese
• sour keys

Things I have actually eaten lately:

• cottage cheese
• eggs
• fruit smoothies (light on the fruit, heavy on the greek yogurt and soy milk)
• more cottage cheese
• salads
• more salads
• popcorn
• cheese
• cheese
• half a piece of bacon when Adam wasn’t looking
• cheese

Things I miss:

• occasionally eating some of the things on the first list without experiencing soul-crushing guilt
• sleeping on my stomach
• my grandmother
• hot baths
• not taking 24 pills a day
• wearing jeans
• these weirdos

     

• being able to hug Adam and have my whole body pressed against his, instead of this weird awkward A-frame we have to do lately

Things I’m loving:

• my big mixing bowl belly
• the way strangers smile when they see me waddling towards them
• walking past our guest room and seeing this view

        

• the baby buy and sell group where I found this sweater for $4

          

• the way the Demon baby stops squirming and somersaulting whenever I speak to it – making me hopeful that I’ll have wonderful motherly soothing powers
• making Adam lift things for me (ohmygod seriously it’s the best. THE BEST.)

Things I’m looking forward to:

• Um, meeting this little person? Yeah. Just a teensy tiny bit.

Things I am also *not* looking forward to:

• Meeting this little person. Because hi! We’re only at 32 weeks. Please stay in there a little longer, ok? Every week that passes makes me breathe a little easier, knowing that chances of baby being big and healthy and strong increase. Each week I google “babies born at 3_ weeks” and marvel at how – even though they look scrawny and are in incubators – they still look okay! They still look like real babies.

So there you have it, my life in lists.