A New Source of Power

(Relevant backstory: My bellybutton has been getting more and more shallow as the months have passed, and is now almost flush with the rest of my stomach with the uppermost lip even protruding a bit.)

Me: (Driving to the grocery store, I raise my shirt and examine my stomach) Hey! Look at my bellybutton!

Adam: Ugh! Ew! Oh my god what’s wrong with you?

Me: My bellybutton’s popping out.

Adam: Well stop it, it’s disgusting!

Me: Adam, I can’t *stop* it, it’s just happening.

Adam: Stop showing me then! That’s the grossest shit ever!

Me: Seriously? (moving closer) This grosses you out?

Adam: Ew yes- get away!

Me: But I think it’s so cute when pregnant ladies have popped out bellybuttons.

Adam: It’s not. It’s not cute. Not at all.

Me: I never knew you felt this way.

Adam: Yes. Please put it away.

Me: Is it because you’re imaging the fetus inside, like, poking it out or something?

Adam: No, it’s just because it’s gross. Outies are gross. Everyone knows that.

Me: (pulling up my shirt again to examine the bellybutton)


Me: Put on your seatbelt.

Adam: Okay! Yes, I will do anything to get that thing to stop looking at me.


                           funny gifs

Internets, now any time I want my husband to do anything for me, I advance towards him slowly, with one hand threatening to raise my shirt and expose THE ALMOST OUTIE.

Who knew pregnancy had these hidden perks?!

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