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19 Weeks (and a day)

                

Words/phrases Adam has used to describe me in the past week:

  • bulbous
  • my little behemoth
  • weird….weird… (usually muttered under his breath while surreptitiously looking at me from across the room)

Number of times Adam has been kicked in the shins in the past week

  • Once for each of the above. Double for muttering.

I don’t feel as though I’ve gotten any bigger, and my perception of the “bump” changes from day to day. Sometimes I find myself bumping into counters and feeling ginormous (or..behemoth like, some would say) yet Sunday when I put on a bikini to go to the lake I felt like no one would really have noticed I was pregnant at all.

This week we got our ultrasound done (the most amazing thing ever, for me, and a source of rage and frustration, for Adam) Afterwards I emailed our midwives to see when they would go over the results of the scan and my bloodwork. She replied that they would only call me if something was wrong, otherwise we’d go over everything at our next appointment.

So imagine my delight when I was sitting at work yesterday and saw the number for “Midwives” flash as an incoming call.

GULP.

Turns out it was nothing really, my placenta is lying low, a condition called Placenta Previa. I’m not linking to wikipedia or any of the other explanatory pages because they all include terror-inducing what-if scenarios and I don’t want to scare y’all.

The issue is that my placenta is covering my cervix (AKA the Demon Baby’s escape hatch) so if, IFF, if doesn’t move, I may be looking at a c-section. But. BUT. There will be no c-section. That placenta will move. Mark my words. THAT PLACENTA WILL MOVE. (Can we add this to the list of sentences I never thought I’d say?)

I’m not really concerned about this, some degree of placenta previa occurs in roughly 30% of women and less than 1% experience complications from it. It was also pretty funny because talking to my midwife about it gave me a serious case of “You know you’re using a midwife when…”.

I asked her if there were any exercises I could do to help things along (I don’t know, pelvic thrusts or something? Standing on my head? Give me some options, woman!) and after explaining that there’s not much you can do physically to move it (usually it naturally moves up as your uterus grows and expands) she did suggest that a combination of acupuncture and guided meditation/visualization had been helpful to other patients.

So. You know, if you are standing around with a few minutes to spare, perhaps take a few moments to imagine my placenta sliding up and away from my cervix, mmmkay?

Other than that, this week was pretty chill. Still just sitting here. Gestating away. I haven’t had any ridiculous cravings, though organic strawberries have been rocking my world lately. I got a bad case of heartburn late last night and the internet told me to try milk, mint and ice cream. I don’t really drink milk, but I rummaged around and found some chocolate ice cream and soy milk and peppermint tea. One or all of them seemed to do the trick!

I’m having a small panic attack over the fact that next week marks the halfway point. It seems like it’s gone so quickly, and I don’t want it to be over. Things are good now, I like this baby inside, safe and warm. I also like sleeping.

Halfway. Seriously? Holy shit.

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