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I can’t sleep so I’ve been trolling around on the Internets and I happened upon this tweet from a few months ago and really felt I had to elaborate.

I can not even explain how horrified Adam was when I stood there, in the bastion of all things natural and organic and overpriced that is Whole Foods, and lowered my nose on level with the food at the cafe and sniffed- SNIFFED!- the curry.

Dude, I wanted to know if it was good curry or not good curry- he obviously didn’t understand this because he doesn’t eat curry- and as he watched this apparently horrific scene unfold he hissed at me to stop SNIFFING the food “For gods sake!” and then glanced around frantically trying to see if anyone else had borne witness to this apparently unforgivable transgression.

Then, THEN, when I protested that it wasn’t like I LICKED it, or tasted it or anything, I was just smelling it JEEZE he turned a deep shade of magenta and hissed again “Shh! Shhh! Stop talking about it!” and then he left the area so as not to be associated with me, the lowly curry-sniffer.

Guys, this man has played half of a baseball game with the entire crotch of his pants missing, he regularly eats full meals with his hands (IN RESTAURANTS) and he has done things that are so embarrassing that I have been expressly forbidden from telling anyone. Ever. Or else.

What I am trying to say is that on a shame scale, Adams actions regularly clock in at a healthy six- rarely getting into truly offensive territory, but definitely sitting squarely on the wrong side of good taste. I would put smelling curry at a food bar at like a three, MAYBE a four if my grandmother was watching.

Just needed to make that clear. Good day.

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