Hello my darlings, have a seat. We need to talk. About THIS.
I’m going to give you a moment, and then – fair warning!- I’m going to start typing in all caps.
IT’S A TYPEWRITER THAT TYPES DRINKS!!
IT TURNS WORDS INTO COCKTAILS! YOU COULD LITERALLY DRINK YOUR OWN NAME! OR ANY OTHER WORD YOU CAN THINK OF!
I need this. I NEED THIS!
EDITED TO ADD: My mind is still blown, I’m reeling from the possibilities. Imagine being able to drink the lyrics of your favorite song! To type someone a love letter and then consume it! To choke on the incongruous words of Plath or Ondaatje!
Or, as BetterThingsToDo noted, in the Comment of the Day: You could slowly sip a “fuckery cocktail”. Oh my. This changes everything.