My husband told me he was (finally!) shaving off his ginormous, Zach Galiafinakis/homeless-man beard.

And then this happened.

He’s threatening to “keep it” and is currently admiring his handiwork in the mirror while repeating various combinations of the following in a deep, Barry White voice:

“I’m a MAN…a MAN with a GOATEE… a MANLY man…”

Please pray.