OCD

            

Last night I got home from work and passed the eff out. I lay down to read and then woke up this morning at 7. What the what?

I am so the polar opposite of a morning person it’s disgusting. Usually the closest I get to the AM is when I stay up past midnight, so when I actually DO wake up, naturally, before like 11 am it is a Big. Deal.

Today I decided to celebrate by making myself a giant cup of coffee (to prevent myself from going back to sleep if I got bored..which…yeah..happens roughly two thirds of the time when I do manage to get up early. Don’t you judge me!) and then I made Banana Macadamia Nut pancakes for Adam out of a mix we brought back from Hawaii.

I don’t know why I didn’t have the foresight to get like 18 bajillion of these, one tiny package was not enough. I want to eat these forever. The fact that you are allowed to eat fried dough slathered in a high-fructose maple-flavored corn syrup for breakfast, makes me think that despite crazy anti-gay-marriage people, the crashing financial market in the states and worldwide famine and poverty, we are doing alllriiiight. (Oh my god, typing that last sentence made me feel physically ill. Was it the pancakes or the first world guilt? Can I donate packages of banana macadamia nut pancake mix to the Red Cross?)

After I made, and ate, all of said pancakes I started in on my morning routine and en route, discovered this. And now I can’t get anything done because all thise pastel pictures of pretty organized closets and drawers makes me want to shout “Fiscal responsibility be damned!” and blow all of our savings on chalkboard paint and magnets. And wine bottle holders – for towels y’all. Towels. 

I mean…I want to *donate* all of our savings to disaster relief. And Somalian refugees. Oh my god why are we like this? Why am I like this? How can I honestly sit here organizing my home to look pretty while people are dying, DYING because they don’t have enough food? How can we not care?

Now I’m depressed and overwhelmed, I feel like there’s nothing I can do and how is sponsoring the ONE child that we do really helping anything? Does little six year old Andrew Joakim really even exist or is it all a scam like Adam says, and they really DO have some 40 year old drawing those adorable pictures of chickens he sends to me. Are like fifty thousand other people getting the same picture of the mischevious looking Malawian boy as I am? 

Sweet jesus this world sucks. Why would they scam me like that? We are horrible, how can we live with ourselves? Where do you start to fix this?!

Oh my god it’s only 9:15. Usually it takes me all day to get to this point.I’m going back to bed.

GOOD MORNING TO YOU TOO, SIR.