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Cleanse Time

So, welcome to the second most boring topic to talk about other than dreams… my CLEANSE!

I was going to link to a page explaining why I am embarking on a Candida Cleanse, but every single one of them without fail mentions the term “chronic yeast infections” and guys, I promise I do not have this symptom although I was intrigued by a book offered on one site entitled “Yeast Infection No More!”. The chipper formerly-yeast-infection-riddled woman on the front cover looks happier than I have ever been.

What I DO have is a holistic-health minded coworker who regularly talks about working on her chi and dealing with her vata imbalance, yet also manages to remain one of the most easygoing and open people I’ve ever met. I trust her implicitly, so when she swears that all of my fatigue, irritability, headaches and pretty much everything else that is wrong with me is due to an imbalance of Candida Albicans, I believe her and sign up to do a 30 day Candida Cleanse.

What’s on the menu? Um..not a whole lot. No sugar, no pickled or fermented foods, no dairy, no gluten, no coffee or tea unless it’s freshly-ground or herbal. No processed or canned foods, and definitely no salsa con queso eaten directly out of the jar.

My approach to self-denial can best be summed up by Oscar Wilde, “The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.” and I’ve never been good at resistance, especially food-related. If I want a cookie I eat a cookie, enjoy it and am done with it. Why spend fifteen minutes denying yourself a bite, torturing yourself, going back and forth and back and forth only to break down, snatch it off the plate, scarf it down and become become riddled with guilt after? Who has the energy for that? Eat the damn cookie and enjoy it. Move on.

So. That said, we’ll see how I do after a few days without dairy or pickled items. Don’t worry I won’t be keeping a daily Cleanse journal…I do have some dignity left.

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